A creation..would like to hear your opinions

DorMan · Post by **DorMan** » Mon Mar 23, 2015 3:05 pm

Hi everyone!
I have been working on something new for a while now.
Its in a relaxing style(kind of).
I would love to hear your opinions and feedbacks(yes the harsh ones too haha)
Made with samples and some vsts in Fruity Loops(FL Studio) and of course the beloved Kronos

Enjoy!

<iframe width="100%" height="450" scrolling="no" frameborder="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=ht ... "></iframe>

dfahrner · Post by **dfahrner** » Mon Mar 23, 2015 6:57 pm

OK, you asked - (1) the melody lines aren't very interesting, mostly just simple repeating quarter-note and half-note phrases; (2) the chord progression isn't much either, just one repeated 4 chord pattern, 2 measures each, all the way through; (3) there's hardly any rhythmic variation; (4) although there are some interesting sonic textures, there's no room to breathe, the whole thing is sort of constant volume / constant density...

As always, you can write this off as an old (jazz) guy talking...I guess this is pretty much what music has evolved into nowadays, mostly due to synths like the KRONOS that can produce complex, interesting sounds with the touch of a single key, which can then be recorded and stacked up...and if you like making music like this, and sharing it with others, great...

df

william olson · Post by **william olson** » Mon Mar 23, 2015 7:48 pm

Nice.I liked it.The one i really like that you composed is Relax(plucked Version)Any relation to Avner Dorman. Crow

Ksynth · Post by **Ksynth** » Mon Mar 23, 2015 7:52 pm

dfahrner wrote:OK, you asked - (1) the melody lines aren't very interesting, mostly just simple repeating quarter-note and half-note phrases; (2) the chord progression isn't much either, just one repeated 4 chord pattern, 2 measures each, all the way through; (3) there's hardly any rhythmic variation; (4) although there are some interesting sonic textures, there's no room to breathe, the whole thing is sort of constant volume / constant density...

As always, you can write this off as an old (jazz) guy talking...I guess this is pretty much what music has evolved into nowadays, mostly due to synths like the KRONOS that can produce complex, interesting sounds with the touch of a single key, which can then be recorded and stacked up...and if you like making music like this, and sharing it with others, great...

df

Just add some build up at the intro - not jumping in with every sound all at once. Some lead synth might work after 8 bars or so. Did not find it "relaxing" but rather a bit harsh. Seems loud to my ears.

Work in progress?

Keep going.

cello · Post by **cello** » Mon Mar 23, 2015 9:23 pm

Technically, well executed

Musically, sounds like a long intro. Needs something drifting on top with a long, clear melody - maybe piano or cello (!) perhaps harp or guitar - or a mix of all. Whilst there is a sense of build up towards the end, it needs to be expanded with more impact - timpanis, gongs, brass perhaps; also more pads/strings.

A good technique is to establish a melody after the intro, then have a new section with a counterpoint or descant to the original melody. Then bring them both together for the build at the end.

As I say, technically great but needs a little more thought on the construction of the piece. As said above - work in progress; could be a nice track

DorMan · Post by **DorMan** » Tue Mar 24, 2015 6:17 pm

Thank you all for taking the time to write the detailed feedback!
I have taken all of you guys points to mind,and I will probably make a second version which will include your good suggestions and repost it here

I like what it have become but I felt there was room for improvement.
I am happy with the simple 4 chord progression Thats what i t was meant to be (although it can be a bit repetitive,I will probably throw more breaks in there for variation)

dfahrner "even" an old(jazz) guy opinion matters haha
although I dont play jazz myself Im familiar with it complexity,that being said i can easily understand why you are unimpressed (not saying the flaws you mentioned dont exist of course).
I aim to learn from each opinion and feedback so each one counts(of course staying true to my style and what i like).

Thanks william olson ,ironically Relax was the first piece I made with the kronos and even mostly recored and built through the built in sequencer (am I just getting worse?)

DorMan is more of a stage name for me,no relation to Avner Dorman im afraid..

cello Thank you too! Ill keep that technique in mind,also I understand that you want to make it more orchestra style to add impact at the end which I think will work great and I ill try it and see how it goes.

Damn that was long...
thank you all

runningman67 · Post by **runningman67** » Tue Mar 24, 2015 7:39 pm

I like the idea. It's the sort of style I like. It's all just a bit raw.

I think the thing it lacks, which is a big thing really, is 'feel'.

'Feel' You are going to get feel by experimenting with volume, fading, pan, instrument choice and touch and being in the right frame of mind. Early morning demos are best.

You are on the right path, no doubt about it and nobody should be critical about your style and genre.

Big hint, your best friends will always be Piano and Strings. Sneak them in somewhere.

DorMan · Post by **DorMan** » Fri Mar 27, 2015 11:30 am

Thanks Runningman
appreciate the kind words and ill take your wise words to mind

phil55 · Post by **phil55** » Fri Mar 27, 2015 12:22 pm

The last part sounds note for note something I've heard before. It's Arthur Brown from Time Captives.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8UqOIROpo8

DorMan · Post by **DorMan** » Sat Mar 28, 2015 3:55 pm

The last part sounds note for note something I've heard before. It's Arthur Brown from Time Captives.

Wow it really is!
Never heard of this song tough

phil55 · Post by **phil55** » Sat Mar 28, 2015 4:14 pm

It was the first album ever to use a drum machine (Bentley Ace).

phil55 · Post by **phil55** » Sun Mar 29, 2015 7:02 pm

Here's an idea: Since you're so close to sounding like the song in question, why not simply redo it and make it a cover of Time Captives in your preferred style? The lyrics are already written.